Tonight's episode was another underwhelming effort as far as the Road to Wrestlemania is concerned. I am really starting to worry here. Find out why after the jump!
- We open the show with the announcement that it will be round 3 in the "best feud that technically isn't a feud but it's better than everything else", series between Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. Fine by me, these two have been delivering consistently over the past couple of months. As CM Punk enters the arena and prepares to yet again, steal the show--
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
The lights are on, but nobody's home
Chris Jericho arrives and rips Punk again for stealing his material and frankly, being just as awesome as he is. As much as I hate to say it, his mic work was good, but for the first time in years (maybe ever), he was upstaged tonight. He says that while he is the last of a dying breed, Punk is just another wannabe. Punk rips Jericho a new asshole, or maybe just a new jacket, as he compares Jericho's attire to LITE BRITE
Chris Jericho's reaction:
Fuck you, I'm a rockstar bitch
Man did Punk hit a nerve or what? He gave us his best material since the summer of 2011, silencing most of Jericho's points by acknowledging the fact that Jericho himself, wasn't even an originator...in fact in pro wrestling no one really is.
In reality Punk gave us a little math lesson
+
=
Great work to build towards what could easily steal the show on April 1st. This promo was so good that Bret Hart himself had this to say on twitter:
"That was probably the best promo I've seen in months & I'm not saying that bc of the shoutout. Punk & Jericho were on the top of their game"
I think that about sums it up for me.
- The Vegan parade continues, as Daniel Bryan arrives to a chorus of boos
No need to argue guys, we all know who the real Best In The World is....
Pretty much everyone here got involved in the match, well except Cole....he was busy looking creepy
Another good match, ending in a draw. Thank you fellas, we should do this again sometime.
Match Rating: 3.5/5
- As Punk made his exit, he was blindsided by Chris Jericho. Jericho puts Punk in the Walls of Jericho (or Liontamer, if you wanna be a smartass) on the stage, telling Punk to enjoy being champion while he can. All in all, some very entertaining segments to open the show with.
- Good video package highlighting the NO DQ match between Triple H and The Undertaker last year. The live audience must have been disappointed that neither man made an appearance here tonight but hey, there's always Dwayne.....RIGHT?
- Kelly Kelly defeated Nikki Bella in a brief match. I could care less, I was focused on Nikki's ass, which has doubled in size as of late...
Thus, I now have a way to tell you sluts apart
Match Rating: 2/5
- Did anyone else notice that they had the "movie preview voice" guy in the trailer for The Rock's new DVD?
- John Cena vs. The Miz....or should I say John Cena vs. his bitch...because that's what it looked like out there tonight. Holy shit, Cena was definitely trying to send a message to Rocky, and poor Miz...I'm sorry I don't mean that....AHAHAHAHAHA!! That's what you get for being a massive tool! At least, Miz looks to have regained some of his focus and desire back.
- The Tag Team Championships were on the line tonight in a triple threat match that saw champs Primo and Epico vs. Kofi Kingston and R Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger. Glad to see the champs regain their momentum in a high profile match that--
Oh, who am I kidding...you all know what I was happy to see...
Give me a second.......dammit.......where was I going with this......oh yeah, Primo and Epico retain their Tag Team Championships after Primo hits Jack Swagger with the Back Stabber, and Epico slides in for the pin.
Match Rating: 3.25/5
Post match, KANE arrives and destroys everything in sight. Why you ask?
Cuz he's THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!
- Eve Whorres delivers a solid promo but I kind of wanted a little more out of it. Still, she has massive heat now that everyone knows shes a total slut. Maybe she should join up with The Bella Twins to form a super stable....The Mega Whores?.....The Ultimate Whorriors?....who gives a Great Khali! Just keep Eve looking as hot as she did tonight, and I'm all for it. By the way, did I call the feud between her and Kelly Kelly in my Raw review last week or what?!
- Edge's new movie looks like it might suck, but who cares, I'm still gonna watch it. But if Edge wanted to do a film with a star from Scream, why not his long lost brother Matthew Lillard?
Ok.....point taken
- The Big Show and Sheamus defeat Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry, effectively killing the last of Henry's momentum. At least Cody provided us with yet another embarrassing Big Show Wrestlemania moment. This time, it's Show's humiliating loss against Floyd Mayweather at Wrestlemania XXIV.
Finally.....THE ROCK HAS COME BACK......to bore the hell out of us and literally try to get the most random homophobic insults to trend worldwide....
I wonder if "same old shit" was trending worldwide...
He really doesn't say much here at all. In fact, John Cena said more in 5 minutes, then Dwayne said in 20 here. This has to be one of his all time worst and least entertaining moments. I was highly disappointed. At least Cena arrived to call him out on his bullshit. I know most of you agree with Rock when he said Cena 'ran like a bitch' afterwards, but at least he confronted him in person like a man and said what's real, instead of pandering to the live audeince. Say what you want marks, it's STILL advantage Cena heading into to Wrestlemania XXVIII. That being said, it was slightly uncomfortable watching them in the ring together as it seems that there is definitely some legit HEAT between the two of them. The best part of this segment...was the moment Cena arrived and this shit became a storyline no more....this....is personal. He buried the shit out of Rock tonight and man was Dwayne pissed. He barely even knew how to communicate after that shit....Teddy Long could of retaliated better than that. Needless to say, I can't wait until these two meet again next week, when I'm live in the arena, I hope this shit explodes.
Final thoughts: A decent show, but not much build to Wrestlemania. Monday Night Raw is usually a can't miss event in the weeks leading to the biggest show of the year. In all honesty, if you didn't see this episode, you didn't really miss a thing.
Overall episode rating: 7.0
What to watch if you DVR'd the episode: The opening segment and match, the tag team match for some solid action and The Rock/Cena promo if your wondering why "Kung Pow Bitch" was trending on twitter last night.
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