WWE Monday Night Raw Thoughts: 3/5/2012

This week's show was a mixed bag all things considered.  Being there live, I was a bit let down by a few things, but all in all I thoroughly enjoyed myself.   Find out which parts of the show were most memorable after the jump!





ONE OF THE YEAR'S BEST MATCHES DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE SHOW


Before I start, I just want to commend the efforts of Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston tonight.  They clashed at this week's tapings of WWE superstars and they tore the house down.  A great back and forth match that was easily the best part of the night from where I stand.


Match Rating: 4.25/5



Now onto the first Monday Night Raw of March:



I found it a bit odd that they opened the show with Shawn Michaels and Triple H.  It was a good segment overall but it dragged on a little bit for me.  I did get a kick out of the fact that HBK is now the special ref for the HHH/Undertaker match at Mania though.  I'm pretty sick of seeing Triple H dressing like he's John Laurinitis, as I feel that it takes away from his aura a bit whenever he speaks now.

It's OK man, I'm sure you'll have your nuts back by April 1st

After about 15 minutes back and forth, we have our first contest..



Match 1:: United States Championship match: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella


A pretty entertaining match that saw lots of interference by Teddy Long, Johnny Ace and their respective entourages.  It wove together a few storylines, which is fine by me.  In the end however, this was Santino's moment.  He won his first singles title in years and it was a pretty cool thing to experience live, as the crowd erupted with arguably, the loudest pop of the night.  I know this pissed a lot of smart marks off, but I was all for it because Jack Swagger added no value to the title, and putting it around the waist of immensely popular superstars like Santino and Ryder, add much more to the belt's notoriety.  I mean, c'mon, whens the last time you saw someone CRY when they won the US title?

They like me....they REALLY like me!

Match Rating: 3.25/5



Post match, we had a pretty funny moment with Johnny Ace and David Otunga being ejected from the arena.



Next, we have the first of three "history lessons" from The Rock.  They were pretty entertaining but there wasn't much said that Rocky hasn't said already.  Yes, he was funny, but he usually is, what else do you have to bring to the table Rock? When are you going to be honest and let us know how you really feel?  In the end, I chuckled each time, but that was about it.

Lesson 1: The Rock hates that John Cena has more merchandise than he does

Match 2: Alica Fox vs. Eve Torres


A pretty good match given the small amount of time they were given.  There was more time spent plugging Kelly Kelly being nominated for some Nickelodeon award then the match itself.


Match Rating: 2/5



Cool to see Zack Ryder post match.  What's with the pimp cane Zack?  Looking to add a certain hoeski back to your stable I see....

It's the beard isn't it?  Hoeskis dig the scruff

Next, we have a very interesting empty arena segment from John Cena...

The calm before the storm....

A pretty heartfelt speech by John Cena here that in my opinion, was better than any "history lesson".  More was said here, than in any of Rock's promos.  Take notes Dwayne, THIS is the type of shit I want from you also.  Anything else, is just the people's bullshit.



Prepare yourself marks, the VEGAN PARADE is on it's way...

YES! YES! YES!

Match 3: CM Punk and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho


A very good match but that was expected.  I found it a bit odd that they would essentially give away two of the main event matches for Wrestlemania, on TV for free by letting them all wrestle their opponents here.  I'm not complaining, there was a lot of great action and storytelling in this match and being there live was awesome, but it's still odd from a booking standpoint.  However you want to look at it, I'm still excited for both matches and this match did a great job at showcasing the talents of all four competitors.  Jericho picks up the win and CM Punk was a little more then annoyed at his arrogance post match.

My precious

Match Rating: 4/5



After a great tag match, we have to watch another Rock history lesson.  Again, I chuckled a bit, but that was about it.  You have to be a complete anti-Cena mark, if you really feel as if The Rock has any sort of advantage going into the Sun Life Stadium. 

Lesson 2: The Rock looks fuckin' ridiculous in that hat

Match 4: The Miz vs. The Big Show


So The Miz's new min-tron says "Danger", I wonder why?



Oh yeah, there's this...





I wonder if this some sort of inside joke on creative's part.



Prior to the match we get another "Big Show embarrassing Wrestlemania moment".

I gotta say, I thought this shit was hilarious

The big man takes his frustrations out on The Miz, promptly kicking the living shit out of him.  Miz is seriously on the worst losing streak I've seen in a while.  I could really care less about him at this point, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.  It's crazy to think that this is the same guy who was in the main event of Wrestlemania this time last year.


Match Rating: 2.25/5



Holy shit, did we REALLY need another Rock history lesson at this point?  The first one was funny, the second one made me giggle, by this point, I was flat out annoyed.  Did anyone not point out the fact that this whole "Rock Revolution" is a total ripoff of Zack's "Ryder Revolution"? 

Lesson 3: The Rock looks extremely constipated, maybe that's why he's so full of shit

Match 5: R Truth vs. Kane


Kane makes quick work of Truth here as expected.  Pretty much "Arrive. Choke Slam. Leave" here.  That's fine by me, this match was pretty much meant to set up an attack by Randy Orton, who arrives to a massive pop.  Randy pretty much gives Kane a taste of his own medicine here...."Arrive. RKO. Leave".  Works for me.  I don't need much to get pumped for anything involving Orton.  This feud should be good.


Match Rating: 1.5/5



The final segment of the show, was the best part of Monday Night Raw in my estimation.  I thought Cena really brought it this week and he definitely has been giving us all the goods as of late.  I'm not a Cena mark by any stretch.  I have immense respect for the guy and IMO, he is one of the all-time greats, but as far as this feud goes, I'm completely unbiased.  I'm not a card carrying member of the Cenation or Team Bring It and I DAMN sure am not a fan of PG-friendly curse words or penis jokes.  That said, I'm still Team Cena at this point, and I think everyone who isn't is making a fool out of themselves rooting for The Rock.  No disrespect if he's your guy, but c'mon, Cena's promos have all been money and The Rock keeps retorting to his usual catchphrases and homophobic jokes.  On top of that, Rock was again visibly shaken by Cena's lack of respect for him and he lost his cool a bit here.  To me, it was the best thing for him.  At least this way, he showed SOME kind of emotion.  It's these intensely personal moments, that I actually care about this feud the most.  I want to feel the tension between these two and I left with that this week.  For this reason alone, I think this segment was the best they've had together thus far. 

Cena 3 The Rock 0

Final thoughts: A decent show if this were not the Road to Wrestlemania, but most of the segments were a letdown minus the last one.  Oh, and WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE UNDERTAKER!!!!!


Overall episode rating: 7.0


What to watch if you DVR'd the episode: The Tag match and the final segment provide the best entertainment of the night.