The time has come ladies and marks and the biggest PPV (and match) of the year is in the books! I've heard the complaints and I'm here to serve you all with a justified review of all things Wrestlemania! So what exactly are my sentiments on the show of shows? Find out after the jump when I review the biggest PPV of the year with Guest Reviewer and G9ZWrestling Wrestlemania party attendant, SexySmark (@sexysmarkY2J) stopping through to add some much needed feminine insight!
Alright marks....
IT'S SHOWTIME!
NOTE: All wrestling related photos courtesy of WWE.com
G9Z: First off, the pre show was pretty entertaining from where I stand. I thought the triple threat tag team match was solid with a lot of fast paced action (even with the botched springboard attempt by Justin Gabriel) and I'm glad my prayers were answered and the Tag Titles were at least somewhat represented at Wrestlemania.
Another victory for what has become the best tandem in the WWE....and for once I'm not talking about Rosa
SexySmark: I thought this match was great. Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel made for quite the interesting pair, but they do need to put a little more work in the chemistry lab. I'm glad to see them both back on TV again though....well....sort of. Also, I really enjoyed the singing of "America the Beautiful" by Lillian Garcia. I thought she looked fabulous and I was moved by her amazing voice.
G9Z: Those perfectly timed jets helped as well. This was the vocal performance of the night by far...much better than Flo-Rida giving us his best LL Cool J impersonation.
Now onto the main card...
Match 1:: World Heavyweight Championship match: Daniel Bryan(c) w/AJ vs. Sheamus
G9Z: Wow....so here we have an 18 second squash match to open the biggest show of the year. Not just any 18 second squash match....a World Heavyweight Championship 18 second squash match. The pre match kiss from AJ to Daniel Bryan lasted longer than the fucking match itself. This match was disrespectful on so many levels. They insulted the awesome run Daniel Bryan has had a champion, they insulted our intelligence, and worst off, they insulted the World title itself. I can't even put into words how upset I am here...I'm trying to find the right way to describe this atrocity....
SexySmark: WTF!!?? AH FUCK!
G9Z: Yeah....that works.
Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds via. pinfall following The Brogue Kick
Match Rating: .......
'The hell are YOU smiling about
SexySmark: I loved the backstage bit with Team Johnny.
G9Z: Funny how The Miz gets NO respect from his team whatsoever. I like where this is going....
SexySmark: I agree. It seems as if the chip on his shoulder is fueling him and I love The Miz when he is focused. He has become a bit of a joke and he deserves more. On a side note, David Otunga has the weirdest muscles I have ever seen and I find him incredibly annoying.
G9Z: LOL I think he's hilarious....delusional....but hilarious nonetheless.
Match 2: Kane vs. Randy Orton
SexySmark: It's a bit telling that Randy gets almost no reaction when he arrives. I love his chemistry with Kane here though. The match itself was pretty smooth and it got the job done for me. I would rather Kane had played up the "evil" factor a bit more and it wasn't a match I'd go telling everyone about, but I got what I expected.
G9Z: My thoughts exactly. The crowd was surprisingly pretty into it once the match got going and it got me a little bit more into it as a result. I am happy that Kane got a win here. He has lost a bit of steam lately but in all fairness, so has Orton. This match would have been a great main event for Smackdown, but for Wrestlemania it was just OK.
Kane def. Randy Orton via. pinfall following a Top Rope Chokeslam
Match Rating: ***
I get the feeling that only big men will earn a victory tonight
G9Z: Does the guy from Deadliest Catch even qualify as a celebrity appearance?
SexySmark: MICK FOLEY!!!!
G9Z: I love him and Santino together. These two should have their own sitcom....get on that WWE.
SexySmark: RON SIMMONS!!!!
G9Z: Ah, the ol' "random legend delivers his token line" backstage bit...could have done without this whole thing, but it was chuckle worthy to hear Mick Foley's pirate talk.
Match 3:: Intercontinental Championship match: Cody Rhodes(c) vs. Big Show
G9Z: Cody was brilliant in this match. He bumped around like a madman....or like Dolph Ziggler....sucks that his great 200 plus day reign as IC Champ has to come to an end here....
SexySmark: Stinkface!!!
G9Z: A 500lb stinkface.
SexySmark: Love the storytelling. Cody looked like an angry pitbull. A pitbull in very cool attire.
G9Z: Sigh....
SexySmark: Don't let it get to you. Show got his Mania moment and the IC belt actually matters again. There's a win in there somewhere....
G9Z: True. I love the emotion Big Show gave us after he won. Reminds me of Steamboat in Wrestlemania III. Cody was a thorn in Show's ass and he deserved to get his ass kicked here. Great old school build and payoff.
Big Show def. Cody Rhodes via. pinfall following The WMD
Match Rating: ***
Finally a proud Mania moment for the world's largest athlete
Match 4: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
SexySmark: WTF is that on Beth's head? It looks like a dead bird...
G9Z: The ghost of Daniel Bryan has been haunting every match since. It will probably haunt the dreams of Vince McMahon as well....
SexySmark: Are they trying to set a record for most stinkfaces in one night?
G9Z: Idk but that "poo streak" on Maria's ass is a Mania first.
SexySmark: Kinda sad that I found Snooki more entertaining.
G9Z: The poo streak stole the show....it's more memorable than anything else here....I'm also more than pissed Beth had to take the fall.
Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos def. Eve and Beth Phoenix via. pinfall following a roll up by Maria on Eve
Match Rating: *1/4
BRB...I gotta vomit
Match 5:: End Of An Era Hell In A Cell match: Triple H vs. The Undertaker with Special Referee Shawn Michaels
SexySmark: I feel honored to have been able to watch this masterpiece live. This is now my favorite match. EVER. Anyone who doubts the greatness of this match is my sworn enemy for life.
G9Z: Well put. Everything was perfect in this match. From Good Ol' JR's awesome commentary to the embrace at the end. Loads of near falls and masterful storytelling make this an all-time classic. This match truly marks the end of an era and it was a work of performance art. It may very well be the greatest thing I have ever seen. The Undertaker in my eyes, has become the greatest star the WWE has ever produced. Shawn is still my favorite, but Taker is the man. His presence alone, nearly gives me goosebumps and I love the idea of only having him work Mania. He deserves it and he makes the whole damn show worth the 65 dollars every damn year. I'd pay it again just on the strength of this match alone.
SexySmark: I got the chills during their entrances as well. Undertaker's robe was amazing and he looked completely badass with that haircut.
G9Z: The whole thing was just fucking brilliant. An instant classic and now my favorite streak match. It may even be my favorite HIAC match.
SexySmark: Blood made it's long awaited return here and I loved it. Both men beat the hell out of eachother. I feel like I just watched a really good film.
G9Z: It was an experience I will never forget. Shawn Michaels didn't overshadow the match at all and he added the icing to this delicious piece of wrestling cake. It's funny how people like to bash HHH and Taker for being dull and limited in the ring when they weave a story better than any two men not named Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. From beginning to end, this was one of the greatest matches of all time and easily the best match of the night.
SexySmark: On top of that, the post match embrace and overall respect was the "Wrestlemania moment" of the night.
G9Z: Thank you gentleman. If we never see any of you again, it's been an honor.
The Undertaker def. Triple H via. pinfall following a Sledgehammer to the skull
Match Rating: ***** (perfection)
The sole survivors saw that their era comes to a proper end
Match 6: Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy
G9Z: There was a bit too much going on here for me. I don't know what it was, but I just didn't enjoy this match. I felt like I was watching Bragging Rights and almost forgot it was Wrestlemania. It didn't help that they had to follow a masterpiece.
SexySmark: It goes to show just how good HHH/Undertaker was. So good that 12 men combined couldn't touch it. It's a shame that this and the divas match got at least 10min, but Daniel Bryan and Sheamus only got 18 seconds. Mark Henry getting swatted by Khali annoyed me. I did like the finish with The Miz earning the victory after everything he's been through lately. This win makes Miz 3-0 at Mania.
Team Johnny def. Team Teddy via. pinfall following a Skull Crushing Finale from The Miz to Santino Marella
Match Rating: **1/2
A dull match, but it made for a hell of a cool photo
Match 7:: WWE Championship match: CM Punk(c) vs. Chris Jericho
SexySmark: What was the deal with the stip added right before the match?
G9Z: I thought it made for an intriguing contest. This match felt delightfully old school and I loved it. I hear everyone's been complaining about the work rate, expecting this to be a fast paced wrestling clinic, but that would have disregarded all of the brilliant work Jericho has done lately. I thought Jericho was masterful in this match and at some points, he was just plain evil.
SexySmark: Yeah I was really into this (not like the live audience). This was another match that suffered from the crowd being exhausted by Taker/HHH. Still, I loved the drama and i thought the wrestling was great as well. The counter wrestling was my favorite part.
G9Z: Yeah I really felt satisfied with the match and I think Jericho and Punk should ignore all the critics and be proud of what they accomplished here. A great drama-filled WWE title match.
SexySmark: I think when people watch this months or even years from now, they will appreciate it much more. On a side note, CM Punk's entrance was great.
CM Punk def. Chris Jericho via. Submission following The Anaconda Vise
Match Rating: ****1/4
An emotional victory for the Best In The World
SexySmark: Brodus Clay is here! Yay.....wait....WTF!!???
G9Z: By far one of the most racist things I have ever seen. To the WWE's credit, I bet this idea looked great on paper.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
Match 8: John Cena vs. The Rock
G9Z: Another match people seemed to be a bit disappointed by. Sure, I was a little salty Cena lost here, but only because I was really into it. I wouldn't say it was the greatest Wrestlemania main event ever, but it definitely wasn't one of the worst. I thought it was awesome how surreal it was. The finish was well done as well. Cena got a little too cocky and it cost him the biggest match of his career.
SexySmark: I was just as into this as HHH/Taker. I loved this match regardless of all of the hate its been getting. Still, I was pretty pissed when Cena lost. I was also let down by The Rock's lack of stamina. He was visibly tired midway through the match. Other than that, I love this match! I've now come to terms with The Rock winning and I think this will turn into a great series of matches if they decide to go that way. Also, as a Beantown woman, I have to say I LOVED John Cena's new Celtic themed gear.
G9Z: To all those who have many gripes with this match, try to think objectively. It seems that this match suffers from too many jaded, over opinionated smarks who scoffed at the idea of the match before it even started. Also, I think the fact that Cena lost could add some much needed dimension to his character. Having let his Cenation down, I think Cena will now set new goals for himself. To The Rock's credit, he saved Cena's career in many ways. He lit a fire under John like I've never seen and I enjoyed every minute of this bumpy, but overall gratifying ride.
The Rock def. John Cena via. pinfall following The Rock Bottom
Match Rating: ***3/4
Love it or Hate it, You won't soon Forget it
Final Thoughts
G9Z: I predicted this would be the greatest wrestling event of all time and I was wrong. While that sounds bad, it's not a complete loss. I don't need eight more months to know that Taker/HHH was the Match of the Year, The Rock/John Cena was fun and Punk/Jericho was pretty good as well. An instant classic match, a very entertaining match and a great WWE Championship battle. Well worth the money in my book.
SexySmark: Due to HHH/Undertaker, I feel like this is one of the greatest Wrestlemania I have ever seen live. The Rock brought a lot of media attention to the WWE and I also liked that aspect of it. All in all, I was very happy with it and I had more fun watching this than any other Mania in recent memory.
Overall PPV Score: 8/10
PPV Awards
Match of the night: Triple H vs. The Undertaker
Performers of the night: The Undertaker, Triple H and Shawn Michaels
Moment of the night: The post match embrace between HHH, Undertaker and HBK
Segment of the night: Nothing worth noting here
Surprise of the night: Sheamus wins the World title in 18 seconds (no this is NOT a good thing)
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