WWE PPV Review: Royal Rumble 2013

Check after the jump for my review of last night's show:

 

Pre Show match for the United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro(c) vs. The Miz

This match was good for what it was and even though it baffles me that they didn't throw it in as a part of the actual show, I can't really say I had any complaints about it.  Cesaro was impressive as usual, but The Miz must be hurtin' right now after that nasty landing.  Aside from that, here wasn't much to the match at all.  

Antonio Cesaro def. The Miz after 7:40 via. pinfall following The Neutralizer (predictions 1 for 1)

 

Match Rating: ***

Just who will be able to stop Cesaro?

 

Match 1:: Last Man Standing match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio(c) w/Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Big Show

This was a very fun match.  I thought it was just about as good the first LMS these two had on Smackdown and it was cool to see Berto get the rub from Bret Hart prior to coming out.  Some may be disappointed with the "duct tape" finish, but I thought it was a bit of an Eddie Guerrero-esque tongue in cheek way of winning.  Del Rio is so over as a babyface that it won't hurt his cred as champion either way.   Sure, Show's a massive guy and part of me thought he could have easily ripped through that tape if he wanted, but as a wrestling character, he isn't exactly Albert Einstein.

Alberto Del Rio def. Big Show after 16:56 via. 10 count following Ricardo Rodriguez taping Big Show's feet to the ropes (predictions 2 for 2)

 

Match Rating: ***1/4

The Mexican Aristocrat again makes a fool out of the giant

 

Match 2:: WWE Tag Team Championship match: Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan)(c) vs. Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow)

Finally, these two teams have a noteworthy match together.  Don't get me wrong, everything they've done outside of the ring has been fantastic, but I haven't enjoyed any of their matches thus far.  Both duos have boatloads of momentum and have been the participants of the most entertaining storyline the WWE has offered up so far this year.  Team Hell No is one of those special unions that you never want to see split, but only good things will come out of a Daniel Bryan singles run in the near future. 

Team Hell No def. Rhodes Scholars after 9:40 via. submission following the No Lock from Bryan to Sandow (predictions 2 for 3)

 

Match Rating: ***

Daniel Bryan & Kane continue to win when it counts

 

Match 3:: The Royal Rumble

I think I was one of the few people who predicted Jericho being in this match, but even I was surprised to see him enter at number two. It really established that anything could happen.  I marked out big time for it and it was one of many awesome moments in this years match.  Even the most vocal of Cena haters have to admit that his entrance was also one of the most exciting.  Speaking of entrances, here is the full list of rumble participants:

1) Dolph Ziggler
2) Chris Jericho
3) Cody Rhodes
4) Kofi Kingston
5) Santino Marella
6) Drew McIntyre
7) Titus O’Neil
8) Goldust
9) David Otunga
10) Heath Slater
11) Sheamus
12) Tensai
13) Brodus Clay
14) Rey Mysterio
15) Darren Young
16) Bo Dallas
17) The Godfather
18) Wade Barrett
19) John Cena
20) Damien Sandow
21) Daniel Bryan
22) Antonio Cesaro
23) The Great Khali
24) Kane
25) Zack Ryder
26) Randy Orton
27) Jinder Mahal
28) The Miz
29) Sin Cara
30) Ryback

Dolph Ziggler's marathon performance should also be commended and he came out of the match looking strong, even in defeat.  Just the fact that he was one of the final men eliminated and was one of the final four (the other being Cena, Ryback & Sheamus) is saying something.  I found myself really rooting for him at this point and the fact that he lost earns him even more sympathy from his increasingly vocal supporters and will make his inevitable title win all the better.  The surprise entrants were hit or miss (Sin Cara being a big miss for me), but I was impressed with Bo Dallas' performance and Jericho's ability to last over 40 minutes before being eliminated by Dolph Ziggler.  Goldust was also welcomed with a large pop and he immediately went after Cody Rhodes and gave us a preview of what could be a very exciting Wrestlemania match (book it WWE!).  Now onto the hot topic of the day....

 

John Cena won the Royal Rumble after 55:15 by last eliminating Ryback (predictions 2 for 4)

I know this pissed a lot of people off (hell, the same could be said about half the matches tonight), but it didn't bother me at all.  Cena has now joined the likes of Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels & Steve Austin who are the only men to have won multiple rumble matches.  Fine company of which Cena is very worthy of being a part of.  Sure, a Ziggler win would have been monumental, but he still has the MITB briefcase and it doesn't change the fact that he's world title bound.  Aside from Ziggs though, was there really any other good choice from a momentum standpoint?  Not by my standards.  And many have been underrating the entire affair based on their pure hatred for one man.  This was one of the best rumble matches of the last decade.  It's not as good as the '92 classic, but it's in the top ten easily.  And let's face it, Cena could win a game of checkers & people will still find a reason to complain about it.  Not here.  You may see it get an average of 3 stars from most, but they would be doing the match an injustice rating it such a way based on the outcome.  Where are the Shield when you need them....

Match Rating: ****

Just curious, how many of you lost sleep last night because of this image?



 

The Rock cut a passionate promo about his hardships growing up and desire to once again become the WWE Champion.  This must mean it is now time for our

MAIN EVENT

Match 5:: WWE Championship match: CM Punk(c) w/Paul Heyman vs. The Rock

This was a damn fine match.   Was it a five star classic?  No.  Was The Rock in champion ready ring shape?  No.  Did the result cause replica title holding fat kids around the globe to promptly lose their fucking minds? 

Seriously, if this was your reaction last night, then God help you.  Sure I'm as big a Punk fan as anyone and his record breaking 434 days as champion was arguably, the best title reign in WWE history, but what else did you want?  Another Cena match?  To be quite honest, there was really nothing left for Punk to do.  Pro wrestling is not about who's the champion and who's in the main events anyhow, it never was.  The idea is to have great matches that bring raw emotion out of the fans.  Good or bad.   Results don't matter. 

 

Sure, I had predicted Taker to win the rumble and Punk to retain, setting up an epic title vs. streak match at Mania and I did not get what I wanted.  So what.  That doesn't automatically make the booking terrible in my eyes by any means.  I can still possibly get my Taker/Punk match and that would be all that mattered to me.  Title or no title.  Since when did we start tracking wins and losses anyway? 

 

If wrestling were real, Big Show & Brock Lesnar would be your champions right now and it'd be damn near impossible to topple them.  I don't see anyone whining when Show loses a match, but I digress.  Rock and Cena now seem to be on a collision course for a rematch in April and I can't say I didn't see it coming.  Sure, there are far more intriguing mania options for both men, but from a business standpoint, I can completely understand.  What I don't understand is the folks who seem to think the entire card is now doomed to maximum suckage.  Again, I'm part of the group of people who prefer to see where things are going and choose to enjoy myself rather than wallow in disappointment because my fantasy booking wasn't in the WWE's plans. 

 

Fact is Punk is the greatest WWE Champion of the last 15 years & will still get a huge mania match.  Dolph Ziggler will still win the world title.  Daniel Bryan will be a huge star once his run with Kane is done.  All will be right with planet smark.  My advice?  Calm down and enjoy the show. 

 

This was a great WWE title match and I think was even better than Rock/Cena.  The building was electric and the split reaction made the action all the more compelling for me.  I'd give this match a very good shot at making the Best PPV Matches of 2013 DVD and even if your pissed when you read the result, I'd still say it's worth the download if you were unsure whether or not you still wanted to.  The weak point isn't the outcome, but the booking of it.  They trolled the audience by leading us to believe Punk had won and then having Vince McMahon restart the match, leading to Rock making a comeback and defeating Punk with the People's Elbow.  To end the greatest reign of the last 25 years so quickly without a truly epic conclusion (Punk gets hit with People's Elbow & kicks out, hits Rock with GTS and a kick out!  Rock wins with Rock Bottom etc.) just insults Punk's valiant effort as champion and it's the only real reason I didn't give this one a higher score.

 

 

The Rock def. CM Punk to become the NEW WWE Champion after 22:39 via. pinfall following The People's Elbow (predictions 2 for 5)

 

Match Rating: ****

Finally...



Final Thoughts

This was a very solid show.  Sure, the results were overall pretty predictable (even though most of my predictions fell through), but I can't really complain match wise.  The entire card delivered up to my expectations and there were absolutely no stinkers.  Avoid the smartass criticisms.  The Rock and Cena winning does not make this show bad by any means.  Results and our displeasure with them are irrelevant to the overall quality of the performances.  With that said, I find only one rating suitable.

 

 

Overall PPV Score: 8/10

PPV Awards





Match of the Night: CM Punk vs. The Rock
Performer of the Night: Dolph Ziggler
Moment of the Night: Chris Jericho returns
Segment of the Night: The Rock's backstage promo
Surprise of the Night:  Chris Jericho returns